The Burbs

Hi, I suck!  Like A LOT.  I meant to post a review on something new, but then I had to like, work and stuff.  And unpack shit from my old apartment cause I live with two eccentric 60 year old aunties that don't mind cobwebs in our Harry Potter Weasley family Carrboro house, but can't STAND for there to be boxes in a room they never walk through.  It's been a whole thing.  Also, if anyone knows how to revive a push mower that has been under the deck all winter, because apparently since I grew up on a farm, I'm supposed to now mow the lawn, that would be appreciated.

MOVING ON!  Speaking of the aunties, we all decided this weekend, while it was raining and icky, to order IP3 cheesesteaks and pasta, rock some of the devil's lettuce and watch this amazing classic!  I found it very informative that when I went out later to have a drink with some friends, this movie was not on a lot of people's radar.

THE BURBS

1989

Director: Joe Dante

Jessco Rating: 1/5 Pillows (For Horror) 4/5 Stars for Awesomeness

  

So first of all, let's talk cast for this badass 80's comedy horror.  You've got Tom Hanks, in all of his younger physical comedic glory, 5 minutes into the film and bam.  Fucking funny.  Here's what else is awesome.  Carrie Fisher, Bruce Dern AND Corey Feldman all share equal screen time, among other easily recognizable character actors of the time.  Back when Carrie Fisher could pull off a really bad mom haircut and so could Corey Feldman.

Set in a suburban cul-de-sac with trimmed lawns, paper boys, flower planting and neighborly window snooping, Tom Hank's character Ray, has weird neighbors.  Their house looks like something akin to the Addams family and they are rarely seen, if at all.  

Ray has decided to spend his vacation from whatever the hell it is he does, lazing around the house, drinking beer and possibly fixing the barbeque grill.  All of this under protest from his wife, Carrie Fisher, who wants them all to go to their lake cottage.

Cue quirky ass neighbors in the form of Bruce Dern as a kooky war vet, and Rick Ducommun as Ray's overweight neighbor and best friend, Art.  Get the three of them together making observations over the next few days, and suddenly the house next door is seeming stranger and creepier.  Something is just not right!

Corey Feldman plays the teen voyeur who watches the hijinks ensue.  And yeah, there are a LOT of fucking hijinks.  If you're into physical comedy, and I mean GOOD physical comedy, this movie shines.  I don't want to give away a lot of the plot because it's fun to take the ride.  Even though I had watched this movie before, I had COMPLETELY blanked on the ending and it does not disappoint.  Conspiracy theories and 80's style "let's wait until they leave the house" plots, keep this movie entertaining from beginning to end.  There is a single scene where Tom Hanks has to eat something.  You WILL cry from laughing, or you have a really horrible sense of humor.  But there isn't any gross-out humor, so it's a nice one to watch with food.  (I for one am totally down to never watch someone puke on screen again!)

When they say "they don't make 'em like they used to".  Well they really, really don't.  Although there are some creepy scenes, my pillows are rated only on scares.  But the movie itself is nigh on perfection from start to finish for an 80's horror comedy romp, which is why I used classic stars to give it a badass rating.  Watch with friends - at a safe social distance, and enjoy a flick that a lot of people have forgotten about.  At the end, you'll be saying, "I love my street!" 

Until next time, Happy Horror to You!

~Jessco

Digging Up The Marrow

Hi!  I'm Jess!  It's been a super hot minute since I have blogged, but when it came time to get back in the saddle I just had to blog about one of my greatest loves.  I am horror movie obsessed, have attended numerous cons on the subject and it's gotten to the point where I have to dig SUPER deep to find new ones that are on my level.  If it sucks, I'll still watch it until the end.  My goal here is to share the good and bad horror movies/shows I've come across over the years.  I'll try to do a feature review at least once a week.  

Also, if you go to my profile and click on "My Webpage", it will send you to a google doc I created during Quarantine.  It is a list (and growing) of some of my favorite- and maybe not so favorite horror movies, divided by genre AND I'm also starting to go through them and provide streaming information.  

That being said, let's get into it!  Since this is my first post- I'm going to chose one of my favorites.  Also, as new horror movies come out- I will be reviewing them fresh off the press, but I also will try to feature some you might have never heard of.  

DIGGING UP THE MARROW

2014

Director/Writer: Adam Green

Jessco Rating: 3/5 Pillows

So I have a lot of big feelings about this movie- mainly because it was one that my ex and I really loved.  Awww, Jess I'm so sorry!  Don't be!  He was an asshole.  That being said, he had great taste in horror films.  

So this is a found footage (spoiler alert: I am one of THOSE people- but I promise, they are all super rad!).  Adam Green, who also did Frozen (the horror movie not that other one) and Hatchet (starring the infamous Kane Hodder who also makes an appearance in this), directed and wrote this.  The interesting twist is that he stars as himself, which adds to the reality feel and also helps with the whole suspension of disbelief.  

Now here's the super cool, most awesome and wonderful part.  Ray freaking Wise is in it too!  Ray "My daughter was Laura Palmer" Wise!  Yeah!  I know, it made me excited too!  

So the basic gist is, Adam is playing himself as a semi-successful horror movie director.  He gets a weird letter from a retired police officer named Vance (Ray Wise) that he has proof that monsters exist and he wants Adam and his crew to come and film them.  

I won't give away anymore of the story, except to say that all of the actors are actually quite believable.  That being said, Ray Wise just flat out SHINES in this.  One of his best roles I have ever seen him in.  And dude, this movie has monsters!  And I'm talking old school, the Tom Cruise move "Legend" style.  No CGI making you think "Well that's some pretty good CGI, I guess?"  That's what I love about it.  Nothing pissed me off more than going to see the new IT in theaters and just wanting to scream because they took away the realistic horror that could have been the leper and exchanged it for some barely recognizable CGI blob meandering down the street and looking hella out of place with the rest of the imagery.  Unless you are making yet ANOTHER Lord of the Rings movie, CGI is NOT necessary.  It sometimes destroys an otherwise decent movie.  So yeah big props for that.  

So if you love it so much, why did you give it only 3/5 pillows, Jess? 

Good question, dear reader!  So this movie was obviously made on a budget and I TOTALLY sympathize with that.  But a couple of the scares were a little, womp womp.  And there is definitely one scene where you were supposed to scream, but you giggled instead.  Also, I felt like there was slightly more to the story that could have been exposed.  Finally, I just always want more monsters.  No matter how many, there will never probably be enough for me- call me greedy.  It's totally cool!  So yeah, solid flick- super imaginative, great cast, more monsters next time please and thank you.  

You should be able to find this bad boy on Prime.  

Until next time, Happy Horror to you!

~Jessco